i have tried so long and so hard with this. [rennes]

i'm worried it might be time to throw in the towel soon.

there have been too many fails.  i have stood up after falling so many times only to say it's going to make me stronger, but i don't know if i can stand up anymore.

i'm sorry this is vague.  i know i shouldn't talk about the "hard times" in a public space.  but it is really really hard right now.