rennes

3.31.2012





I don't have any sunglasses. Which is kind of odd considering I get my eyes dilated at least once a month. The thing I'm trying to figure out right now is do I need prescription sunglasses, or do I cave in and get non-prescription. I wore contacts all the time up until three years ago and I now I just wear glasses. I kind of want to wear contacts again, but am not sure. I really like these Illesteva ones, they look like something from the City of Lost Children.

I had a bit of a scare this past Thursday that I'm still a bit shaken by. I was at home working as usual, and all the sudden I couldn't see out of about half of my left eye - just a lot of flashing and blindness. It was really scary. Right away I thought it was my eye disease (as these are symptoms very common with it) but it had never come on so quickly and so big. Jesse rushed home from work and we drove over the hospital. The flashing lasted about an hour but then subsided and my vision came back gradually. It turns out it was a migraine, something so common, but nothing I've ever had before. I'm so thankful this was the case, but it left us all stressed and on edge.

That said, it's hard not to be constantly nervous that something is really going to go wrong, which in all likely hood it will as some point - I'm not being pessimistic, just realistic, but that doesn't mean I'm not optimistic that it won't. It is one of the hardest things for me to talk about because I don't know how to talk about it. It's hard to explain why I go to the doctor often (at lease one day a month) for this. Most people in there 20s don't see this many doctors or have these kinds of health issues. I don't know how many times I have to explain to friends and family that it doesn't go away or get better - it just has times where it's stable or not active. I had started the post about the sunglasses yesterday, but anything related to glasses and eyes and everything just makes me start thinking, and I can't avoid talking about it. I am lucky - I have a really good support base - Jesse and my parents have been very amazing about the whole thing, and I have quite a few close friends who understand and are very loving. That doesn't mean that it's not hard.