are we there yet

wagon image from here.

"Are we there yet?" is something I said all the time growing up. Between multiple car trips back and forth to the mid west, loaded up on mad libs, cassette tapes, and other games, nothing seemed to make those long drives go quick enough, and almost every hour came the question, "are we there yet?" or "is this our exit?"

Now I find myself posing the same question - but not about a car trip. For some reason I can't help but wonder things like am I at the right place in life and do I have the right job and should I be doing more and so and so is doing x, should I be doing x too - essentially, am I there yet? I know these questions are normal to ask no matter where you are and what you are doing, no matter the ups and downs, the successes or failures, everyone is asking themselves the same things.

We have a friend who is working right now at a bio lab and people ask him "so, aren't you applying to grad programs? If you aren't now, when are you going to have time to publish and research?" To these questions he responds he isn't in a rush, and he's just taking things as they come to him. And good for him I say, why rush? Why are we in such a rush to do better and go faster? It will be a great thing if one day we wake up and are proud of ourselves for being just as we are right now.


EvaForeva said...

Ah, I totally know what you mean. Comparing your accomplishments to others', questioning yourself and so on... Yep.
My friend shared this quote with me recently: "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by #$@holes." —William Gibson
I try to remember this when I feel frustrated :-)
You should be so so proud of yourself!!!

Arlie said...


Belinda [simple things] said...

Nice post! Good on you (and your friend) for being happy with you you are.

The day I learned to stop comparing myself with other people is the day that I found happiness. Truly! I realised that there will always be someone out there who has more of what (I think) I want (or is doing what I want to do), so I was setting myself up for perpetual dissatisfaction by comparing myself with anyone else.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have goals. I think you just have to enjoy the journey, and do things for yourself because you enjoy doing them rather than because there is an expectation that this is what you should be doing because everyone else is (or because it's 'the done thing').

Found-Food said...


kenzie said...

been thinking this all summer. Feeling so bad about not having a busy life, but I need to just wake up everyday and be happy with everything I get to do. No need to rush! Thanks for sharing.

Maria said...

love this post. thank you for your words :)

NICOMADE said...

totally hear you. it's an odd feeling to be one of the few of my friends not in grad school, but even odder when there's underlying judgment that not being in grad school equates to professional failure. it feeds the self-doubt and gosh, who needs that? my feeling is that asking the questions means you're working it out. of course, the trick is trying to enjoy the ongoing process of working it out and not being bogged down by the stress of it all.

Mallory said...


so many of my friends have been following a more traditional path than i have since we graduated from college. they're in much more of a "rush" than i am, and yet i seem to be happier. to me, that's better than rushing.

ag. said...

My gosh, I love this post. Could not have found it at a better time.